These Advice shared by A Parent Which Saved Us when I became a New Dad

"In my view I was merely trying to survive for the first year."

One-time reality TV personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

Yet the actual experience quickly became "utterly different" to what he pictured.

Severe health problems during the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her chief support as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every change… every walk. The job of mother and father," Ryan shared.

Following 11 months he became exhausted. It was a chat with his own dad, on a public seat, that made him realise he required support.

The direct statement "You are not in a good place. You need assistance. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and start recovering.

His story is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. While society is now more accustomed to talking about the pressure on mothers and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties dads go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his challenges are linked to a wider inability to open up between men, who still internalise negative notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just gets hit and doesn't fall time and again."

"It's not a show of weakness to ask for help. I failed to do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men often don't want to accept they're struggling.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental well-being is equally important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the space to take a respite - spending a couple of days overseas, separate from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he needed to make a change to consider his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of caring for a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan sees fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan believes these will help his son to better grasp the vocabulary of emotional life and understand his decisions as a father.

The notion of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen did not have stable male a father figure. Even with having an "amazing" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says bottling up emotions led him to make "terrible actions" when he was younger to modify how he felt, seeking comfort in substance use as escapism from the hurt.

"You gravitate to things that don't help," he notes. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will ultimately make things worse."

Tips for Coping as a New Dad

• Share with someone - if you're feeling swamped, speak to a friend, your other half or a therapist how you're feeling. This can to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - continue with the activities that helped you to feel like you before the baby arrived. Examples include going for a run, meeting up with mates or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - eating well, staying active and when you can, resting, all play a role in how your mind is faring.
• Connect with other new dads - hearing about their experiences, the messy ones, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Understand that asking for help does not mean you've failed - taking care of your own well-being is the most effective way you can support your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the death, having had no contact with him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead offer the stability and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they practise "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the feelings safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their struggles, altered how they communicate, and figured out how to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I said, on occasion I believe my purpose is to teach and advise you what to do, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am understanding just as much as you are on this path."